The story you are about to read is not the opinion of the creator of the card. The Chariot of Santa
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Twas the week before Christmas.....
Up in the North Pole young Nick, jolly ol' Saint Nicholas's son to be exact, was restless. At 21 years old he has never left the winter wonderland. Ever. Not even with his dad on Christmas.
Although, he loves his home, the elves, the reindeer, and the never-ending-supply of hot cocoa, he doesn't drink it like he used to. He's trying to keep in shape because, dang, have you seen his dad? This strapping young fellow is not quite ready for that lifestyle. There's a big world out there with many things to see. And people too.
His parents are starting to prep him for the family business and with that comes a wife. The nominees, at least from his dad are Petra, Brigitte or Gisella. They are stunning and sexy. He's known them for years, but the thing is they are kind of boring. Plus, Gisella is into Petra. Petra is a snob and Brigitte never smiles, ever. How can that even be possible in the North Pole?
The elves are off limits as are the fairies and gnomes. If he is forced to settle down with one of these candidates he was going to need to sow his wild reindeer oats first.
He stormed in his father's office powered by testosterone and peppermint. To say he was busy is an under statement of blizzard proportions. His dad sat on enormous red velvet throne at a mahogany desk. There was a long list in front of him and he was bent over it. It looks like he was on the second go round of checking it.
He cleared his throat and his dad turned to face him.
"Dad, we need to talk."
"Son, I'm buried in work. What is it?"
"I gotta get out of here and fast. I'm about to explode." He stood straighter to prove he was serious.
Santa looked at him with a twinkle in his eye. He looked back at the list and circled the name Poppy so he would know where he left off. This particular girl was baffling him. He wasn't sure if she was naughty or nice. He put the quill down and turned to face his son.
"Son, I knew this time would come just as it did for me and my father. It's a rite of passage, yet it's one you have to ask for." he stood up and grabbed his sons shoulders. " I wasn't sure you were going to ask, but I"m glad you did. It's time you see the world."
Nick beamed. "Dad, I knew you'd understand. When can I go?"
He took off his glasses and put his hands on his hip and let out a belly laugh. "Ho Ho Ho...Son, come with me."
Both men strutted towards the barn. Inside was filled with reindeer, a present loading station and THE Sleigh. Along the corridor they stopped to feed the baby reindeer carrots. They continued down the hallway which was lit with twinkle lights and headed towards the back of the barn. His dad touched the side of his nose and a hidden door opened.
Nick never saw this part of the barn before. It was just as big as the main barn, perhaps even bigger. Inside was a different animal smell. The stalls were filled with horses, glorious steeds of all colors and breeds. And a different energy.
The reindeer area possessed a magical mood, this area held an enchanting power. The horses were mighty and masculine, just the disposition he was looking for. He was bursting with machismo, virility and egg nog. It was a bona fide Christmas miracle.
Up in the North Pole young Nick, jolly ol' Saint Nicholas's son to be exact, was restless. At 21 years old he has never left the winter wonderland. Ever. Not even with his dad on Christmas.
Although, he loves his home, the elves, the reindeer, and the never-ending-supply of hot cocoa, he doesn't drink it like he used to. He's trying to keep in shape because, dang, have you seen his dad? This strapping young fellow is not quite ready for that lifestyle. There's a big world out there with many things to see. And people too.
His parents are starting to prep him for the family business and with that comes a wife. The nominees, at least from his dad are Petra, Brigitte or Gisella. They are stunning and sexy. He's known them for years, but the thing is they are kind of boring. Plus, Gisella is into Petra. Petra is a snob and Brigitte never smiles, ever. How can that even be possible in the North Pole?
The elves are off limits as are the fairies and gnomes. If he is forced to settle down with one of these candidates he was going to need to sow his wild reindeer oats first.
He stormed in his father's office powered by testosterone and peppermint. To say he was busy is an under statement of blizzard proportions. His dad sat on enormous red velvet throne at a mahogany desk. There was a long list in front of him and he was bent over it. It looks like he was on the second go round of checking it.
He cleared his throat and his dad turned to face him.
"Dad, we need to talk."
"Son, I'm buried in work. What is it?"
"I gotta get out of here and fast. I'm about to explode." He stood straighter to prove he was serious.
Santa looked at him with a twinkle in his eye. He looked back at the list and circled the name Poppy so he would know where he left off. This particular girl was baffling him. He wasn't sure if she was naughty or nice. He put the quill down and turned to face his son.
"Son, I knew this time would come just as it did for me and my father. It's a rite of passage, yet it's one you have to ask for." he stood up and grabbed his sons shoulders. " I wasn't sure you were going to ask, but I"m glad you did. It's time you see the world."
Nick beamed. "Dad, I knew you'd understand. When can I go?"
He took off his glasses and put his hands on his hip and let out a belly laugh. "Ho Ho Ho...Son, come with me."
Both men strutted towards the barn. Inside was filled with reindeer, a present loading station and THE Sleigh. Along the corridor they stopped to feed the baby reindeer carrots. They continued down the hallway which was lit with twinkle lights and headed towards the back of the barn. His dad touched the side of his nose and a hidden door opened.
Nick never saw this part of the barn before. It was just as big as the main barn, perhaps even bigger. Inside was a different animal smell. The stalls were filled with horses, glorious steeds of all colors and breeds. And a different energy.
The reindeer area possessed a magical mood, this area held an enchanting power. The horses were mighty and masculine, just the disposition he was looking for. He was bursting with machismo, virility and egg nog. It was a bona fide Christmas miracle.
His dad told him to pick three horses. Well, Nick knew just the ones he wanted. He pointed them out. Santa rocked on his heels and stroked his beard in approval.
"You have great taste son. This is Blaze, Steel and Kane. My fastest steeds." He turned to his son, "Are you sure Nick?"
"Dad if I don't get off the North Pole I will explode." The horses snorted in agreement.
"Well alright. Your chariot awaits." He waved his hands and a magnificent chariot appeared. It was red as a Poinsettia and lined in gold.
They hitched up the horses while the big guy explained a few things. "You have 24 hours to see the world. These stallions will help you get where ever you'd like. Son, what is it you are looking for?"
Nick looks down at his feet then mumbled. "Girls"
"Ho Ho Ho....of course. Well, I will suggest a few places like my ol' man did. The Netherlands has beautiful women and they are used to the cold climate. Greenland is very nice and Earthy, also a cold climate. Look pretty much any European country will have what I think you are looking for." he said with a grin while stroking his chin.
"Are they fun Papa? He asked. " I mean beautiful is great, but all the women here are beautiful. It's just, well, they are dull and lifeless. How is that? I mean this is the most magical place on Earth?"
His dad thought about it for a minute. Of course his son is right. Mrs. Claus wasn't from the North Pole. She was born and raised in south Florida. Every thing about her and her land was the polar opposite of how she lived now. He told his son the story of how he met his wife as they finished hitching the horses.
He handed his son some money and sent him on his way. "Remember son, you only have 24 hours. The horses will come back then, but in the meantime, the world is your oyster."
"Nick thanked his dad and snapped the whip in the air. "On Blaze..On Steel...On Kane....Dash away, dash away, dash away all." He bellowed.
"You have great taste son. This is Blaze, Steel and Kane. My fastest steeds." He turned to his son, "Are you sure Nick?"
"Dad if I don't get off the North Pole I will explode." The horses snorted in agreement.
"Well alright. Your chariot awaits." He waved his hands and a magnificent chariot appeared. It was red as a Poinsettia and lined in gold.
They hitched up the horses while the big guy explained a few things. "You have 24 hours to see the world. These stallions will help you get where ever you'd like. Son, what is it you are looking for?"
Nick looks down at his feet then mumbled. "Girls"
"Ho Ho Ho....of course. Well, I will suggest a few places like my ol' man did. The Netherlands has beautiful women and they are used to the cold climate. Greenland is very nice and Earthy, also a cold climate. Look pretty much any European country will have what I think you are looking for." he said with a grin while stroking his chin.
"Are they fun Papa? He asked. " I mean beautiful is great, but all the women here are beautiful. It's just, well, they are dull and lifeless. How is that? I mean this is the most magical place on Earth?"
His dad thought about it for a minute. Of course his son is right. Mrs. Claus wasn't from the North Pole. She was born and raised in south Florida. Every thing about her and her land was the polar opposite of how she lived now. He told his son the story of how he met his wife as they finished hitching the horses.
He handed his son some money and sent him on his way. "Remember son, you only have 24 hours. The horses will come back then, but in the meantime, the world is your oyster."
"Nick thanked his dad and snapped the whip in the air. "On Blaze..On Steel...On Kane....Dash away, dash away, dash away all." He bellowed.
They flew through the constellations. He headed towards Europe to see what is was like. The horses were swift and agile. He steered close to the ground just out of eyesight of the people, but close enough to get a good enough look to see if he wanted to land.
Europe had an elegant glow about it. It was glamorous and appealing, yet it lacked a certain "je ne sais quoi".
"Up, up and away boys." He snapped the whip once again and off they went. "Let's check out Greenland fellas." The horses obeyed and they raced through the sky once again. When they got close he noticed how dark it was. The whole place was shut down and it was only seven in the evening. This would not do.
They were in a holding pattern while he figured out what to do next. He didn't want to waste his time going from place to place. It came to him, why mess with success. "We're headed for south Florida guys." The horses liked his choice because they reared up and headed there at the speed of light.
They were nearing a town called Boynton Beach when he noticed a nativity scene in front of an old strip bar called Moreys. This place was always the first to decorate for the holidays. It both annoyed and thrilled the locals. They ignored the establishment the rest of the year, but in December, well, tis the season.
He could feel the magic here. This was the vicinity of the origin story of his new life. They flew a bit more south and saw a building where he could feel the music vibrations coming out of it. The building had a nice flat roof too. This is it. He knew it. Steel, Blaze and Kane land with precision and he hopped out and stretched.
He unbuttoned his red coat and tied his black boots. This place was hotter than Hades. Steamy too. There's nothing to do about that now. He smelled his armpits, and breathed into his hands to check his breath. The horses rolled their eyes.
He peered over the roof and saw a sign. It read Just One. Hmmm, this should be fun. The trip was long but fast and he worked up a thirst. He slid down the column and landed in front of a man sitting on a stool in front of the door.
They eyed each other. Both sported impressive beards, only his was white and the Floridian's was dark brown. This guard? Nutcracker? He wore a black leather jacket and black boots too. It's like they were yin yang twins.
The bouncer stared at him for what seemed an eternity before he started laughing and slapped him on the back and told him to go inside. No charge. Nick tried to impersonate his dad's laugh but it didn't sound close. The sentry laughed even harder.
"First drink's on me Santa." He walked him to the bar.
Nick was feeling full of himself. This man actually thought he was Santa. They bellied up to the bar. The barmaid sashayed over. She had a thing for the bouncer. Nick swallowed hard when she walked over. She winked. His new friend told the bar wench to take good care of this guy. He patted him on the back and said, "Merry Christmas."
The maiden leaned close to him revealing an ample bosom and asked, "What's your pleasure?" Nick's eyes grew three sizes just like the Grinch's heart when he found the meaning of Christmas. He was scared. "Something cold please. You choose." He finally answered.
This part of the bar was was very dark save for a few lights coming from behind the bar, the pinball machine and the huge jukebox in the corner.
She drew a cold draft and slid it his way. He took a big swig. It was bitter at first but had a great warmth for being a cold drink. He guzzled it and asked for another. She winked again poured another one.
He headed to the other room where it was a bit lighter and louder. There were tables everywhere the color of evergreens and above them hung red and white lights with the name Budweiser on them. It was the color scheme for the holiday. Budweiser must be the local Santa. This reinforced the notion he was in the right place.
Each table was filled with people and they were hitting what looked like ornaments with sticks into holes along the side of the table. The people were merry and bright. They clapped, yelled, and danced and he was sure he heard some words that came off the naughty list.
When suddenly he heard a glorious sound coming from the back corner of the room. It was jovial and he felt as if he were at a festival. Is that an accordion?
The melodious tune hypnotized him or was it the red head playing the instrument. She was flanked by two other women. A blonde and a brunette. They were singing, laughing and dancing. It was a mirthful group.
Europe had an elegant glow about it. It was glamorous and appealing, yet it lacked a certain "je ne sais quoi".
"Up, up and away boys." He snapped the whip once again and off they went. "Let's check out Greenland fellas." The horses obeyed and they raced through the sky once again. When they got close he noticed how dark it was. The whole place was shut down and it was only seven in the evening. This would not do.
They were in a holding pattern while he figured out what to do next. He didn't want to waste his time going from place to place. It came to him, why mess with success. "We're headed for south Florida guys." The horses liked his choice because they reared up and headed there at the speed of light.
They were nearing a town called Boynton Beach when he noticed a nativity scene in front of an old strip bar called Moreys. This place was always the first to decorate for the holidays. It both annoyed and thrilled the locals. They ignored the establishment the rest of the year, but in December, well, tis the season.
He could feel the magic here. This was the vicinity of the origin story of his new life. They flew a bit more south and saw a building where he could feel the music vibrations coming out of it. The building had a nice flat roof too. This is it. He knew it. Steel, Blaze and Kane land with precision and he hopped out and stretched.
He unbuttoned his red coat and tied his black boots. This place was hotter than Hades. Steamy too. There's nothing to do about that now. He smelled his armpits, and breathed into his hands to check his breath. The horses rolled their eyes.
He peered over the roof and saw a sign. It read Just One. Hmmm, this should be fun. The trip was long but fast and he worked up a thirst. He slid down the column and landed in front of a man sitting on a stool in front of the door.
They eyed each other. Both sported impressive beards, only his was white and the Floridian's was dark brown. This guard? Nutcracker? He wore a black leather jacket and black boots too. It's like they were yin yang twins.
The bouncer stared at him for what seemed an eternity before he started laughing and slapped him on the back and told him to go inside. No charge. Nick tried to impersonate his dad's laugh but it didn't sound close. The sentry laughed even harder.
"First drink's on me Santa." He walked him to the bar.
Nick was feeling full of himself. This man actually thought he was Santa. They bellied up to the bar. The barmaid sashayed over. She had a thing for the bouncer. Nick swallowed hard when she walked over. She winked. His new friend told the bar wench to take good care of this guy. He patted him on the back and said, "Merry Christmas."
The maiden leaned close to him revealing an ample bosom and asked, "What's your pleasure?" Nick's eyes grew three sizes just like the Grinch's heart when he found the meaning of Christmas. He was scared. "Something cold please. You choose." He finally answered.
This part of the bar was was very dark save for a few lights coming from behind the bar, the pinball machine and the huge jukebox in the corner.
She drew a cold draft and slid it his way. He took a big swig. It was bitter at first but had a great warmth for being a cold drink. He guzzled it and asked for another. She winked again poured another one.
He headed to the other room where it was a bit lighter and louder. There were tables everywhere the color of evergreens and above them hung red and white lights with the name Budweiser on them. It was the color scheme for the holiday. Budweiser must be the local Santa. This reinforced the notion he was in the right place.
Each table was filled with people and they were hitting what looked like ornaments with sticks into holes along the side of the table. The people were merry and bright. They clapped, yelled, and danced and he was sure he heard some words that came off the naughty list.
When suddenly he heard a glorious sound coming from the back corner of the room. It was jovial and he felt as if he were at a festival. Is that an accordion?
The melodious tune hypnotized him or was it the red head playing the instrument. She was flanked by two other women. A blonde and a brunette. They were singing, laughing and dancing. It was a mirthful group.
The cold beer made him feel brave so he headed over to the harem to introduce himself. Time is of the essence. As he got closer the music got louder, and in a split second the brunette grabbed his hand and started to dance with him. This surprised him and he liked it. He only wished it were with the red head instead. But he smiled and started to dance anyway. There wasn't much room in between tables, but it worked anyway. When the song was over she kissed him on the cheek and walked off towards the fellow two tables down.
The ginger playing the music looked at him and laughed. "Well, I'll be. If it aint Santa himself alive and well in Boynton Beach, Florida."
The liquid courage coursed through his veins so he took her hand and looked her in the eye. "I'm afraid I'm not Santa. That's my father. I'm Nick." He then kissed her hand.
She kept holding his hand while laughter erupted from her. "You don't say?" She put down the accordion then yelled to get the waitress's attention. When she looked her way she held up two fingers. A few minutes later two more beers appeared just like magic.
She finally introduced herself. "I'm Poppy, then she pointed to the brunette, "That's Violet" Then she thrust her chin in the direction of the blonde. "And that's Aster. They're my sisters. My mom really liked flowers."
For hours they shot pool. They sang and danced. They talked and laughed. This was the happiest he'd ever been in his life. He also knew it was getting late and thought this is his chance.
"Poppy, I'd love for you to come with me tonight meet my folks. Would you like to do that?" He asked.
She was shocked. No man ever asked her that, anywhere, anytime, and especially not at Just One. "What?" She knew she was buzzed and wanted to make sure she heard him right.
He saw her confusion. "I only have a couple more hours before I have to leave. Forever. You are as jolly as they come, and pretty too. You are that special feeling. That enchanting moment of Christmas morning. What I'm saying is I'd like for you to come meet my folks and consider being my wife." He then slammed down a frosted mug of beer named after the local Santa.
Poppy never felt this way before. I mean she's been on a few benders in her life, but this was different. Why not, she thought. "Where do they live?" She asked.
"The North Pole." He answered.
"Nick you are hilarious. Look if I agree, my sisters have to come too. It's only fair, it can be three against one." She put her hands on her hips and tipped her chin up at him.
"Hmmmm, well, I suppose it would be alright." He said then picked her up and kissed her long and hard. Poppy melted into the kiss and thanked her lucky stars she came out tonight. Her mom didn't want her going out all the time, she was a wild one. But especially during the holidays with all the weirdos and all.
The ginger playing the music looked at him and laughed. "Well, I'll be. If it aint Santa himself alive and well in Boynton Beach, Florida."
The liquid courage coursed through his veins so he took her hand and looked her in the eye. "I'm afraid I'm not Santa. That's my father. I'm Nick." He then kissed her hand.
She kept holding his hand while laughter erupted from her. "You don't say?" She put down the accordion then yelled to get the waitress's attention. When she looked her way she held up two fingers. A few minutes later two more beers appeared just like magic.
She finally introduced herself. "I'm Poppy, then she pointed to the brunette, "That's Violet" Then she thrust her chin in the direction of the blonde. "And that's Aster. They're my sisters. My mom really liked flowers."
For hours they shot pool. They sang and danced. They talked and laughed. This was the happiest he'd ever been in his life. He also knew it was getting late and thought this is his chance.
"Poppy, I'd love for you to come with me tonight meet my folks. Would you like to do that?" He asked.
She was shocked. No man ever asked her that, anywhere, anytime, and especially not at Just One. "What?" She knew she was buzzed and wanted to make sure she heard him right.
He saw her confusion. "I only have a couple more hours before I have to leave. Forever. You are as jolly as they come, and pretty too. You are that special feeling. That enchanting moment of Christmas morning. What I'm saying is I'd like for you to come meet my folks and consider being my wife." He then slammed down a frosted mug of beer named after the local Santa.
Poppy never felt this way before. I mean she's been on a few benders in her life, but this was different. Why not, she thought. "Where do they live?" She asked.
"The North Pole." He answered.
"Nick you are hilarious. Look if I agree, my sisters have to come too. It's only fair, it can be three against one." She put her hands on her hips and tipped her chin up at him.
"Hmmmm, well, I suppose it would be alright." He said then picked her up and kissed her long and hard. Poppy melted into the kiss and thanked her lucky stars she came out tonight. Her mom didn't want her going out all the time, she was a wild one. But especially during the holidays with all the weirdos and all.
They enjoyed the rest of the night until the bouncer yelled last call. They downed one last beer and headed out. Her sisters were chattering away like chirping birds. They were singing songs and dancing out the door.
Once outside Poppy asked where his car was. He pointed up. How was he going to get these girls up to the chariot? Then he remembered what his dad did when n he needed to go up the chimney.
He told all the girls to hold hands then he took Poppy's and touched his nose. They floated up to the roof. It worked. He did it! This is amazing. This most definitely is the best night of his life.
The sisters stood on the roof with their jaws hanging open. They stared at the horses. They were quiet and in disbelief. Did this clown slip some kind of drug into their drinks? Then the horses looked at them and they were goners.
They ran over to them and petted their necks and squealed over how enchanting they were.
Nick felt good. He told the girls to close their eyes for one more surprise. They complied because, why not? He waved his hands and they were dressed in the finest, most colorful coats, hats and scarves.
Immediately they felt the warmth from their outfits. It wasn't quite the kind of thing you wear in muggy south Florida. But when they opened their eyes they were flabbergasted at the outfits. Never in their life have they ever worn anything like this.
Poppy grabbed her accordion and jumped in the chariot. The sisters shrugged and followed suit. It was in that moment they knew they were really going to the North Pole.
Nick hopped in the driver's seat and cracked the whip. "On Blaze...On Steel, On Kane....off, off and away."
The horses charged off the roof and the girls shrieked in delight. Poppy started playing the accordion.
Santa and Mrs. Claus could hear the music floating down. Mrs. Santa started singing one of the classic Christmas songs. "Do you hear what I hear?"
Jolly Ol' Saint Nick said, "Yes," Then he started to sing.
"Mama's got a squeezebox, Daddy never sleeps at night."
Nick put his arm around Poppy and bellowed" Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night."
Once outside Poppy asked where his car was. He pointed up. How was he going to get these girls up to the chariot? Then he remembered what his dad did when n he needed to go up the chimney.
He told all the girls to hold hands then he took Poppy's and touched his nose. They floated up to the roof. It worked. He did it! This is amazing. This most definitely is the best night of his life.
The sisters stood on the roof with their jaws hanging open. They stared at the horses. They were quiet and in disbelief. Did this clown slip some kind of drug into their drinks? Then the horses looked at them and they were goners.
They ran over to them and petted their necks and squealed over how enchanting they were.
Nick felt good. He told the girls to close their eyes for one more surprise. They complied because, why not? He waved his hands and they were dressed in the finest, most colorful coats, hats and scarves.
Immediately they felt the warmth from their outfits. It wasn't quite the kind of thing you wear in muggy south Florida. But when they opened their eyes they were flabbergasted at the outfits. Never in their life have they ever worn anything like this.
Poppy grabbed her accordion and jumped in the chariot. The sisters shrugged and followed suit. It was in that moment they knew they were really going to the North Pole.
Nick hopped in the driver's seat and cracked the whip. "On Blaze...On Steel, On Kane....off, off and away."
The horses charged off the roof and the girls shrieked in delight. Poppy started playing the accordion.
Santa and Mrs. Claus could hear the music floating down. Mrs. Santa started singing one of the classic Christmas songs. "Do you hear what I hear?"
Jolly Ol' Saint Nick said, "Yes," Then he started to sing.
"Mama's got a squeezebox, Daddy never sleeps at night."
Nick put his arm around Poppy and bellowed" Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night."
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